My First Solo Trip – Anxiety, Aging & Awakening

I wanted to share my experiences with you on my first solo trip. For someone who has had some major fears of travel and traveling alone, this was a huge milestone for me. Here I share: how to plan for your solo trip, facing anxiety during the trip and letting it go.

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Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my experiences with you on my first solo trip. For someone who has had some major fears of travel and traveling alone, this was a huge milestone for me. Here I share: how to plan for your solo trip, facing anxiety during the trip and letting it go.

In September, I went on my first solo trip to the Oregon Coast. It was something I wanted to do for a while but I had a lot of anxiety associated with going solo. I get nervous about getting lost, getting grabbed (this has happened to me multiple times believe it or not and thankfully I was strong enough to save my wallet and myself) and I also have some social anxiety. It took a lot of support from friends and hearing their stories about how they have gone on solo trips or any trip for that matter in order for me to finally book my trip! I considered all my alternatives and I knew that I wanted the trip to be a beautiful, safe and relatively easy trip. I wanted it to be memorable and I wanted to go somewhere I have never gone before.

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What Made This Trip Amazing
  • I splurged on an Ocean front view (absolutely worth it). What you invest your cash on makes you value it so much more
  • I had absolutely no plans. NO PLANS. No appointments on the calendar, no places to visit, no one to visit, nowhere to go or be
  • I packed light, packed healthy food and used almost everything I brought with me on the trip
  • My dog was with me the entire time and his excitement was contagious
  • I led with my body’s intuition. If I craved movement, I walked or ran along the beach. If I craved rest, I rested by the fireplace
  • I ended up picking a few places to visit spontaneously or asked other people their favourite places to visit
  • The conversation with fellow travelers along the way
  • Facing confrontation and handling it in a healthy way. There was one confrontational encounter and I stood up for myself (after some reflection) and journeyed up a steep lighthouse trail to get the anger out
  • A 4 day trip made the trip the perfect length to experience enough but not too much in case a solo trip wasn’t my thing

Anxiety

I wasn’t expecting to feel anxious during this trip…I was expecting complete bliss but I still had the usual nightmares and unease upon waking that have been my norm for the past few years. It’s a cycle that I have been working on with intention and utmost care and it has taken time. However, despite the death grip pull toward darkness and despair, I would hold myself (visually) and move into the beauty around me.

I meditated by the fireplace and walked a lot.

The movement of walking allowed some deep rooted anxiety to lift in the deep dark areas of myself to surface outwards. It was truly uncomfortable but the more I walked, the more bearable it became. At times, I would listen to podcast or music and at times, I was just 100% in the moment.

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The more I faced my anxiety, the more beauty emerged from the inside-out.

It felt as though my true self was emerging more and more and I could feel purpose within me.

My favourite part of the day was either walking on sand. I didn’t care of the sand was soft, hard, warm or cold. I just wanted to keep walking on it either bare footed or with my black roshe nikes. I have never seen my dog, Haru this happy. He used to fear the water and now he is one with ocean. I also enjoyed being by the fireplace every night curled up with Haru and a good movie 🙂

Aging

And there is one more personal thing I want to share. When you spend so much time alone, your shadow self might elevate as well as your light. I saw a lady who was getting older and older in the mirror. Am I really on my way to the next decade already? I’m gearing up to turn 40 in a few years. It doesn’t matter what you actually look like but how you perceive yourself. You can be the most beautiful person and if you choose to see someone who isn’t beautiful, that is what you get. Deep down I believe everyone is beautiful and aging is beautiful…but my insecurities were surfacing big time. The Coast gave me the opportunity to be even more aware of this. 

After the Coast, when I got home, my perspective started to shift and I saw a lady who was getting younger as well as older from the inside-out and both are fabulous. I will always be getting younger and older as time passes as I get closer to my truer self (the one who was born with no influence on this earth) and closer to my higher self (the one who learns and grow over time). I love me the way that I am today and each day is different and full of surprise but I love me no matter what.

Now It's Your Turn

Where will your next or first solo trip be?
What would you like to experience on this trip (from the inside-out)?

I missed you guys so much and glad to be back from my mini-sabbatical!

Love,
Leanne

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